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Location: Memphis, TN, USA (Hometown), Crawley, West Sussex, United Kingdom

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A Win!!! 7 yr old Destini will dance with her classmates on Dec 12th!

Destini Berry, 7, can appear in her ballet recital, locks and all.

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Thomas: Destini will dance; not against rules, for respect
By Wendi C. Thomas
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November 29, 2005

The show goes on, and Destini Berry will be a part.

The 7-year-old girl was banned from her first ballet recital because Dance Works' director, Karen Zissoff, declared her shoulder-length, straw-thin dreadlocks unsuitable for the Dec. 12 performance.

If Destini kept her locks, the only Dance Works recital Zissoff would agree to would be one Dec. 11, in which Destini would dance alone in front of her parents.

But Zissoff has apparently had a change of heart. In a letter given to Destini's mother Monday, Zissoff said the girl will be allowed to perform with her classmates Dec. 12.

This is a win for Destini and despite what some may think, a win for all who are paying attention. Destini's determination to dance led us into frank conversations about race that otherwise we would have avoided.

This was never about Destini's willingness to follow the rules, because she has observed all of Zissoff's written rules.

Zissoff, who receives government money for her non-profit program, has no written policies against locks. Had Takeisha Berry known when Destini began lessons two months ago that Zissoff didn't allow locks, she would have taken her daughter elsewhere.

Zissoff's rules require girls to wear their hair in a bun for recitals. Berry did pull Destini's hair into a bun, but it wasn't good enough for Zissoff.

And that's what has stuck in my craw, this persistent, insidious notion that natural black hair isn't good enough.

Look no further than the proliferation of beauty supply stores hawking long, straight, fake hair for black women to sew onto their scalps, and the boxes of chemical relaxers lining store shelves to see that many black women and men buy into that lie.

We're barely out of the womb before adults start evaluating and grading our hair based on its natural texture. Straight, long hair is "good" hair. Nappy, kinky, coarse, ultra-curly or short hair is "bad" hair.

By styling Destini's hair into locks, Berry was consciously resisting the pressure to make her daughter's hair mimic the European standard of beauty. She was telling her daughter that her hair is fine just as it is.

Complaining that ballet traditions are being destroyed, or insisting this is just another example of nonconforming black people who won't follow the rules is to miss the lesson.

Black and white people are alike, and we are different. Acknowledge the similarities and celebrate the differences. Don't crush them.

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